Maria Conaghan
Out of interest I google-searched the meaning [of motherhood] which, put simply said 'the state of being a mother'. For me this state includes pregnancy, the births of my 3 children and their lives up until now and until I'm no longer here. Through motherhood I became aware and experienced perhaps the strongest form of love - unconditional love.
Being a young mother certainly came with challenges and the inexperiences of life, which sometimes resulted in my making mistakes and choices that were perhaps not the most ideal for my son and daughter. However, as I had been privileged enough to inherit great paternal love and beautiful values from my parents, my children also had this infinite love, empathy, strength and support which carried on through their childhoods and is being passed on to my mokopuna throughout their developing years.
Motherhood at 19 years of age and 21 years of age was quite different to being a mother at 44 years of age and in a foreign European country away from whānau and friends. Motherhood at 44 gave the words 'tired' and 'resilience' a whole new meaning but also brought a mature and more balanced understanding to raising my youngest son.
My daughter introduced me to live in Avondale in 2010 when she and her partner and my first granddaughter bought a house here, having moved from Wellington. Her older brother and partner followed soon after, and I found a small cottage for sale about 200 metres in the same street. More babies followed for both families, and my love of gardening flourished on what was a property devoid of any plants or trees. How wonderful it was to be able to just go out of my gate and walk down to where my daughter and her 3 daughters were living …. there were always family gatherings there or at her brother's with barbeques, good food, outdoor fires, music, dancing and laughter, with cousins playing and my youngest being the fun uncle.
I have 6 mokopuna with my eldest now 15 years and my youngest 3 years with their two families having moved from Avondale some years ago while my youngest son still has a connection to Avondale through friends and business.
There have been many changes in the neighbourhood, people leaving, new people arriving, high-rise accommodation development, more people struggling with life's hardships, the cost of living and a general feeling of struggle. The world is a different place to when I first moved here, but as with time immemorial, there's always change. I have such admiration for those people who are helping with community projects in Avondale and feeding and assisting people who are in need.
I am extremely grateful for my life, and it's rewards and can only wish for true happiness for my children and their children – that they lead a good and healthy life, celebrate their unique gifts and strengths, don't compare themselves to others, show gratitude and empathy, but also have fun and take some risks!
The Dalai Lama said, 'Happiness is the highest form of health'.
